Sugar & Kiki

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Guest Post: Postmarked Bits of Courage, by Brittany Eilers

A good guest blog should always start with a confession: No? Okay, well, I’m giving you one anyway. I have not always loved handwritten notes or writing in general.  Actually, there have been times when I’ve downright hated both. I think back to weekend “chores lists” in childhood where thank you notes were priority number one following every birthday, major life event, or holiday. I’d have to sit down, reflect on my forced gratitude, and write them out (thankfully, no addressing of envelopes; that would have broken me) before being allowed to go outside or start a new book. But worse than being mandated to write thank you notes was the standard punishment my mother doled out during my entire elementary school career. I had to write sentences each time I was naughty, which was often. I knew I had been especially bad when I received the following instruction, “Write I will not sass my mother 100 times. IN CURSIVE.” Writing felt like a curse. 

Thankfully, my loathing of notes and writing has turned to loving. As an adult, it looks and feels differently. Dare I even say, therapeutic? It is a choice (maybe that’s key), a wonderful, thoughtful choice. Because what a note, a postcard, or letter says in ways too powerful to ignore, is “I’m thinking of you.” But I can’t deny that by wanting others to know you care or appreciate them, you are giving yourself, the writer, so much more. It is a sense of peace, an opportunity to share or reflect, and a tangible act of accomplishment to stamp an envelope, address it, and walk it to the mailbox. It is also an act of mindfulness and purpose. Another reason I love notes? As I connect with others through paper and pen, I am also connecting with myself. As I write to others, I write for myself. And what a gift that has been. 

It is not an exaggeration to say that a postcard subscription service has changed my life. It absolutely has. I still remember the first postcard Ms. Kiki sent to me. So profoundly did it affect me that I kept it pinned in a place where I would see it multiple times a day. It was an image of Marilyn Monroe reading a book and the sentiment written on the back made me realize that not only was I thought of, but I had been seen. It stuck with me for days and inspired me. I thought that if that’s how I felt when receiving a random postcard, I imagined others would feel the same. And they did. 

A truth I quickly began to realize was that the message you craft in a card is often more detailed, personal, and thoughtful than what you might have said in person or frankly at all. I can’t begin to count the number of stories, haikus, quotes, messages of gratitude, memories, and vulnerabilities I’ve shared (or had others share with me) in a note that I would never have had the gumption to say otherwise. Notes are postmarked bits of courage used as an opportunity to not only share, but to “see” others. Case in point: I once sent my in-laws a note in which I shared my love and utmost gratitude for being so graciously welcomed to their family. Would I have ever said that to them in person? 100%, heck no. It would have been too vulnerable, scary, and hard. For them and for me. Ha! All it cost me was a note card, a stamp, and a bit of courage to tell them the impact they’ve had in my life. 

Nowadays, I send handwritten notes to pretty much everyone I know. Coworkers, friends, family members, professional contacts, even my hair stylist got one not too long ago. I did a quick count and just since March I’ve sent out over 200 stamped little somethings. Because acts of kindness (and purpose) matter now more than ever. 

You can’t go a day without hearing the phrase, “The New Normal.” My new normal has come with the heightened realization that connection to those I care about is critically important. My challenge to you, readers of this little guest blog, as you navigate your own new normal, consider adopting the practice of popping a note in the mail every once in a while. You and the person receiving it will be glad you did. 

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